Time Out

 

Hello, my name is Syhren and I am a perfectionist.  When I do things, I have to do them the best.  I wrap carefully planned and thought-out gifts with coordinating wrapping paper with crisp corners and matching bows.  The card has to be witty yet touching and include a personal message in a matching pen.  Weight-loss has been no exception.  No white flour, no refined grains, little refined sugar.  Vegetables, more, more, more!  Work out.  Work out everyday.  Never miss.  Wake up early.  Do more.  Moooore.

Exhausted?  Because I am.  I'm tired.  My posts have been few and far between lately not because I'm gaining weight (though I haven't pushed through that plateau yet), but rather that I've been very depressed.  I realize now that I threw myself way into this whole weight-loss and exercise thing too much. By the time I made sure I had exercised and eaten a proper meal and packed food for the next day and calculated calories and sugar and carb content and researched new recipe ideas... I had no day left.  Dishes piled in my sink, my house was always a mess, and I never had time to do the things I enjoy.  All work and no play, right?

I've kept it up for awhile, but within the past month my life has become very stressful.  I won't go into the sordid details, but suffice it so say that when things first happened, I cried myself to sleep for a week.  And then I had times when sleep just couldn't seem to happen.  I keep having headaches.  I wanted to lay around and do nothing but would berate myself for being so lazy.  And then I started having financial issues.

So this weekend I took a break.  I slept in.  I wore pajamas.  I walked around a mall and looked into shops.  I did some of my great passions in life--I read, sewed, and crocheted.  I watched new episodes of favorite TV shows that I was behind on.  As I type this, I'm drinking a pot of lightly sweetened tea and listening to the rain fall.  Maybe I'll take a nap.

The point is, I forgot to look after the health of my mind because I was so caught up with the health of my body.  They're both important, but I only focused on one, which I can see now was a terrible way of doing things.  Tomorrow is a new day, a new month, in fact, and I'm dedicating it to supporting the healthy growth of my body and mind.  I can't let this build up the way it did before.  Maybe this means that it'll take even longer for me to lose all the weight.  That's fine.  I'm young and I hopefully have many years to come.  

So.  Tomorrow starts a new transition.  I'm going to try and be more moderate towards my goals and less extreme.  My stress levels need to go down so I can sleep again, and get rid of my headaches.  Bring it on October.

Ack!

Hey guys!  Just a quick post to say I'm not dead or anything.  I forgot to say that I was going to be gone for a few days visiting a friend.  Sorry!  Posts and Weigh-In Wednesdays will resume as usual this week :) 

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Weigh-In Wednesday #15!

Do you know what this picture is of, my friends?  It's a plateau.

Dictionary.com defines a plateau as: a land area having a relatively level surface considerably raised above adjoining land on at least one side, and often cut by deep canyons.

I would humbly offer my own definition: a horribly, demotivating experience in which a dieter works her butt off, tries new gym classes, eats very healthily and still does not lose any weight for no particular reason.

Starting Weight: 225
Last Week's Weight: 200
Current Weight: 200 (-0 pounds)
Total Weight Loss: 25 pounds

Goal Weight: 145
Weight Remaining:55

Yes... I'm still the same.  And I don't know why.  I wasn't bad this week.  I didn't cheat.  I still ran.  I even started taking Zumba classes (I've done three since last week) in an effort to step up my game.  I went to the gym on Monday morning because I didn't have to go into work until late and ran on the elliptical, did the stationary bikes, and used the weight room.  I've taken walks.  I've eaten more broccoli than I care to think about.  WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!?

Now, a logical portion of my brain is calling out in a feeble voice, "Having your weight plateau is normal!  You'll get through this!  Keep it up!"  However, that voice is utterly and completely overwhelmed by the illogical portion of my brain screaming, "You're done!  You'll never lose another pound!  You'll regain all 25 pounds and be fat for the rest of your life.  FOREVER FAT."

Ugh.  And I'm only ONE MEASLY POUND away from my first mini-goal, too.  So. Cruel.  I need some motivation :(

Perks of Running Outside

I feel kinda bad for complaining about running outside.  This morning, I was reminded of some of the positive parts.  As I was running, I got to see two deer and a little baby fawn frolicking through the woods.  SO CUTE. 

Oh, and remember that Zumba class I took yesterday?  My body sure does. -.-;;

So I Tried Zumba

Yeah, note that the title says, "tried." So after youtubing Zumba and peeping in on classes while at my gym, I finally decided to put on my big girl panties and go try it out.  I had heard that a girl I knew when I was 6 or 7 was now teaching the class, so I thought it wouldn't be so awkward if I at least knew the instructor.  And it was super nice to see her again after so many years.  She lost 50 pounds or so doing Zumba and now teaches it!  Which is just dumbfounding.  She looks wonderful.

As for the class--STUFF IS HARD.  And here I was thinking that I was being so healthy and was more or less in pretty good shape, 200 pounds or not.  WRONG.  I was dying halfway through the hour-long class.  I also found out I'm pretty uncoordinated.  My body was covered in sweat by the end of the class--even my hair was damp! 

And you know what?  It was awesome.  I can't wait to do it again.  I know right?  What's happened to me?

Weigh-In Wednesday #15!

Starting Weight: 225
Last Week's Weight: 200
Current Weight: 200 (-0 pounds)
Total Weight Loss: 25 pounds

Goal Weight: 145
Weight Remaining:55

I... stayed exactly the same!  Honestly, after losing 4 pounds last time, I really didn't expect to lose anything this week.  I hoped to, of course, but it's okay that I didn't.  My friend was also in town this holiday weekend and I had a combination of not eating incredibly well and not having a lot of time for exercise.  Still, maintaining is also good :)  And now that the holiday is over, I'm ready to start fresh again.  This evening, I picked up the new class schedule for my gym.  I'm going to try and take some classes!

The Perils of Running Outside

So I've been running outside every morning before work.  I really enjoy running outside, even though it's way harder than on a machine.  On the elliptical at the gym, I can run four miles, but outside I have only managed two.  Still, I like being outside.  It's nice to see the squirrels scamper in the morning and then sun come up.  There's also a cool camaraderie that exists between other early-morning runners that I really like.  The nod and little wave while still running is really encouraging.  Plus, and this may be in my own head, but I feel like there's a twinkle in every person's eye that I run past that says, "AH IT'S EARLY WHAT ARE WE DOING!?"  Or maybe that's just me.

BUT!  One of the things I hate most about running is Monday mornings.  Which is garbage collection day.  Since yesterday was a holiday, today was that day.  I cannot explain how disgusting it is to run past all those stinking garbage cans.  It's really nauseating.  And of course I'm breathing hard because I'm running and that only makes it worse.  Groooosssssss!!!!

Fad Diets

I don't think fad diets work.  Having said this, I will also admit to trying just about all of them.  The appeal is just too great--quick, easy, never feel hungry.  And then they always add in those buzz words--chocolate, cake, mashed potatoes, ice cream!  How could this be bad?  Except it always is.  The answer to weight loss is always going to be the same: Proper Diet and Exercise.  The end. 

My brother has recently started a fad diet.  He mixes up a protein shake for breakfast, one for lunch, and then gets a 'sensible' dinner.  Has he lost weight?  Yes.  But in all honesty it's no greater loss than I achieved in the same amount of time and I got to eat solid food.  Perhaps the most perplexing aspect of the whole situation is that my brother is a chef.  Not only does explicitly know how to make good, nutritious food, he has taught other people how to do it as an instructor. 

I asked him why on earth he was trying this shake diet, and his response was normal, I guess: "I want to lose weight faster."  Don't we all?  Does it suck that it took me fourteen weeks to achieve a 25 pound weight loss?  Yes.  Yes it does.  But that's life.  Unfortunately, I haven't been able to make my brother change his mind, so the shakes keep getting made.