My astrological sign is Taurus, the bull, which I was never very happy about because it's perhaps the ugliest, most unflattering of them all. The most commonly known thing about Taurus people is their stubbornness. So I'm a big, stubborn cow. I can't lie, I'm one of the most unmovable person you'll ever meet. If I really don't want to do something, nothing short of an act of God would make me do it. My stubborn side is probably partially to blame for my weight. When I was teased in school, it was always by the thin, pretty, popular girls, and in some twisted way I associated their thinness with their meanness. And I was certainly not going to become like them. I'd be fat, but at least I'd be nice.
I know. It's messed up. I'm trying to channel my stubbornness into more body-friendly activities now. For instance, today when I went for my run, I really didn't want to. I figured this was coming. Starting something new is always exciting for the first few days, and then it just becomes life. And life is kinda boring. Anyway, I forced myself outside anyway, and I swear to you, the wind was blowing hard against me just to try and deter me from my goal. Well, screw you wind, I'm going to run anyway.
But even with my stubborn Taurus self behind my actions, I wasn't able to finish my mile without stopping. I don't even know why. I've run that same mile straight through for almost a week now, and sure it was hard, and I was sweaty and tired, but I still did it. In fact, yesterday I even managed to run part of the way back, whereas I usually walk. I only stopped for 10 or 15 steps, but it made me feel like such a failure. I made sure to run some on the way back, but it was really depressing not to run the entire mile first.